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Helping Yourself

Remember that you are not alone in feeling overwhelmed
Most Americans have found the devastation of the shootings at Virginia Tech to be unbelievably horrible. It has caused many to be afraid, to cry, and to be angry. These emotions are intensified by the feelings of helplessness that accompany the shock at the impact of this horrific crime. While some of the ideas below speak to people who have suffered injury or death in their families, they are meant to help all who are suffering crisis reactions.

Don’t isolate yourself
Make connections with others who heard about, or who may have witnessed or survived the shooting. They may be roommates, family members, or friends who might be able to share their perspectives on what you all experienced and validate what are likely common responses. Turn to acquaintances or counselors who may just want to be there to listen to your story about what happened to you. Remember, even if you don’t want to talk about the shootings, it helps to know that someone is around who cares and may have experienced similar reactions to this horrific event.

Express your reactions or feelings
Many people discover that when they find appropriate words to describe emotions of fear, anger, grief – or any other feeling – it helps to define what happened, and that can help reduce the intensity of the emotions. Some cultures and some people do not feel comfortable with talking about these things, so for them, it might be more helpful to express their reactions through physical activity, music, writing, or art.

Keep to ordinary routines as much as possible
Maintaining established patterns of life does not mean that you are minimizing the effect of the tragedy. Sticking to your normal routine can actually help to stabilize a life that has been dramatically altered. Everyone needs some kind of anchor in restoring everyday activities. Routines can be that anchor. For victims or survivors whose lives have been shattered and whose routines have been destroyed, integrating new activities into their days may become necessary. For example, changing the route to a campus building for a class might help someone cope with painful memories.

Focus on maintaining physical health
Try to eat regular meals, take daily vitamins, engage in some physical exercise and get rest. Mental distress takes a physical toll on your body. In order to keep up your strength to face the days ahead, it is important to keep as physically fit as possible. If you are enduring great emotional anguish, you may want to contact your doctor.

Reach out for spiritual connections
If you have a strong faith and this tragic event has challenged it, get in touch with others of your own faith or your spiritual advisors to help work through some of the questions you might be facing. If you do not have a faith system, but have spiritual values, try to find someone who might share those values to talk with. Restore your connection with the environment around you, if that is the source of your sense of meaning in the world.

Learn all you can about the reactions you are having
It often helps to know what physical and mental reactions are common after a tragedy like this. Think about your former experiences with extreme stress or traumatic events, and consider how you have coped with those experiences in a positive way. Read or watch educational materials on how traumatic events often affect people and try to follow suggested ways of coping with these events. Ask for help in learning about such reactions. There are many organizations and agencies throughout the United States that can provide you with additional materials, referrals to resources, or counseling assistance.

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